Monday night’s premiere of Love & Hip-Hop: Shondaland Hollywood featured a random assortment of stunts and shows to usher in the fourth season of the hit VH1 scripted reality series. Against the better judgement of God and Blue Ivy, I tuned into Love & Flops: Hollywood and here 5 things I learned:

Keyshia Cole is out here booking stadiums these days?

R&B’s red headed stepchild, Keyshia Cole returned to reclaim her ratchet reality show crown. Keyshia ushered in her confusing storyline/relationship/or something with ex-basketball player Daniel “Boobie” Gibson. (I will be referring to him as Danny Boy for the rest of the season since VH1 wants to call him Boobie in public) The first thing noticed by the fans was Keyshia Cole’s inflated sense of her career.

Now to Coleslaw’s credit, she is/has been working on a project due out this year, but Keyshia is far from selling out stadiums.

After seeing her performance last night, I have hope that Keyshia Cole will spin this into something to sustain her image. It’ll be interesting to see how the fishplate lady formally known as Keyshia Cole will pull a comeback out of this one.

Teairra Marí is (Still) Standing in the Need of Prayer

The attitude, the questionable wig and weave choices and the worst fight in recent tv show memory with Hazel, yeah that is right, Teairra Marí is also back. This season, your daddyless friend from 200(whenever) was showing out. I pray that Teairra Mari can get over being dropped by Roc Nation, pull her wig down and get herself together.



Another season. Another Messy Gay Stereotype.

The biggest problem the LGBTQ community has with the Love and Hip-Hop franchises are their blatant willingness to use, exploit and embarrass the fame hungry gays for a check. Last night we were introduced to “stylist” Zell, basically was inserted into the show to be messy. Last season was Rosa Acosta and Nikki Baby, the season before that Milan Christopher and Miles. And yes, Zellous let off a few cute reads for the girls, but I’m going to need Mona to get some new gay friends because the stereotypical messy gay dramatic storyline is reading like lost edges at this point.

Hazel E Will Never be Beyoncé

Hazel E and I have officially our love/hate relationship to the next level. Because you listen to the FREEISH podcast, you may remember I was a little harsh on Hazel when the nose job lied about around the world happened. This season Hazel is giving me (although heavily unnecessary) confidence this season. Now that things have settled, she looks better. She’s starting to act like a boss and the “credit card scams” (as Tierra pointed out) are really providing blessings for her. (And Hazel never compare yourself to Beyoncé. Never.)

Brooke Valentine Wannabe My Spirit Animal So Bad

Definitely my MVP for the episode goes to Brooke Valentine. Let’s get this out of the way for the culture, Girlfight was an eternal bop. Let’s move on. Brooke gave me so much life. after I had to explain to her through the TV that nobody was waiting on a follow up to Girlfight.  After hearing that her man
was still married to his wife while dating Valentine, Brooke took a page out of Trina’s life lessons plans and set him up. Getting him all hot and bother with her amazing body, she turned his ball blue when it turned into a interrogation. The charade was funny and she definitely gets points for that.

That’s pretty much as far as my attention span would carry me. Safaree stopped wearing furs and now rocks ill fitted Jamaican dad suits. Ms. Nikki baby needs new friends and a new storyline. Moniece is on an Orange is New Black lady vacation for the season that we’ll revisit next time.

What did you think of this season premiere?

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